Here, hold this

The Boozy Weathergirl
2 days ago
2 min read

Whoever is holding Mother Nature's beer while she breezes through all four seasons in a week, dump that shit out, please. She's obviously already drunk. Stay sober long enough to read this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl, OK?

1

The official signal to go to sleep is not yawning. It's actually when you drop your phone on your face.

2

Did you know that pollen allergies exist because there are too many male trees and not enough female trees? So again, men...

3

My everyday dress is like yoga pants and a sweatshirt. But get me packing for a vacation, and I have my entire wardrobe, a prom dress, and I most likely need to check two extra bags.

4

Have you ever wondered if the dollar bills in your purse were ever stuck up a stripper's butt crack? Well, you will now...

5

It's quite a mystery why my eyes can't stay open if I lie on the couch with a blanket pulled over me, but if I move to my bed, my eyes pop open like a scary-ass antique doll.

6

Cottage cheese used to be the redheaded stepchild of the cheese family. Like, everyone just pushed it aside on the plate. But now, the protein craze is in full force, and it's an entire meal, or a side dish, or an integral part of a yummy cheesecake. My point is this - if cottage cheese can hold out for the win, you can too. #nevergiveup

7

Earth is such a lame-ass planet. I mean, where are the fairies and mermaids and dragons? Nope, all we got is bills, bills bills...

8

Did you ever think about what the insides of scarecrows taste like? No? Well, eat a Triscuit.

9

I was motivated and went for a run this morning, but I came back after about five minutes, because I forgot something. I forgot that I can't run for even five minutes.

10

Do you want to know why I really hate vape? Because I smell donuts and candy and iced tea, and I think to myself, "Yum, I'm going to get myself a tasty treat!" But then I walk around the corner, and it's just some rando and his cloud of lies.

I have had the pleasure of an unexpected invitation this week that has led to reconnecting with some great ladies. And today at school, we were talking about accents. I love a French accent and making a connection. So, if you like a French connection, this SUPER EASY-TO-MAKE cocktail is for you!