Whay day is today?

I had an enjoyable weekend eating, drinking and catching up with people. That was all ruined by the return of the work week, especially since every day feels like the day before now. Oh well. Just more fodder for my Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.

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1

I hate when I can't find something. However, I hate it even more when I am dead certain that said item could not possibly be in the place where it belongs, so I look anywhere and everywhere else for it until I find it in the actual place where it belonged all along.

2

What do I do with my body during the day that makes my ChapStick unwind in my pocket. Like, when I start off, the waxy stuff is level with the container, just enough to coat my lips. But the next time I pull it out, it's jacked up enough to soften the lips of the entire Kardashian family - Jenners included!

3

It's sad to say, but if urine were lube, middle-aged women would be much happier people.

4

Here is something I have never understood - if you are surrounded by several windows, and there is a ton of natural light filtering into a room, why would you turn on overhead lighting? It just ruins the whole vibe!

5

I love Italian and Portuguese breads. I love the crispness you get when you toast it, and I often eat it for breakfast. What sucks is that I am usually eating this bread in my car, which allows the flaky crust pieces to fall down into my cleavage, leaving me to pick them out of my bra until about lunchtime. And, damn, those crumbs are like little tittie daggers, waiting to poke holes in my milk jugs!

6

I also love those Dole and Del Monte fruit cups that are packed in their own syrup. But this week's product packaging complaint comes in the form of the plastic film you peel off to reveal a fruit-juice geyser that spews out like an ejaculation (usually all over important papers or electronics). They need to include a fruit-cup condom to slide on before opening!

7

The end of the school year is here, which means a purge-o-rama in the classroom. I was cleaning out some binders today and came across an elementary editing checklist which included things like "do my words look like they are spelled correctly" and "are there punctuation marks used at the end of each sentence." Just add, "is it legible," and I'll be handing this to my kid AND my husband before they submit anything to me for review!

8

Ever read or view rants on social media and think to yourself, (person), do you honestly want the whole world's opinion on this? Like, do you not have friends to confide in who might give you some advice, as opposed to exposing your crazy to everyone? If the answer is "no," I'd seriously spend less time on your phone and more time getting out and about.

9

I also hate when I forget to tell evite NOT to inform me of everyone's responses to a party, and my phone starts blowing up with far-too-wordy explanations of attendance or non-attendance from people I don't know and will probably only speak to once in my life!

10

I am infamous for ordering and returning stuff from Amazon. In fact, the guy at the UPS store was shocked today when I came in with only one item to return. And I'll be damned if that item isn't the one where you actually need the box and shipping label to return it. The whole point of Amazon shopping is being able to scan and return, nothing more needed. So now what do I do? Do I go home and box it up with one of the thousands of Amazon boxes I have at home? Of course not. I buy a box, tape and some other costly shit, negating any value of the return. I should have just kept the damn thing.

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I'm kind of in that state now, where I have no idea what date it is. There are 12 more days of school (well, 11 for me, because I took Monday off), but there are still like 2.5 weeks left, and I feel like this month already ended, even though it never will. You know what I need? A Long Drink. Literally. Peach is my favorite flavor. No recipe needed this week. I have provided a picture for reference. They're from Finland. So I gonna "Finnish" my six-pack while you read...

A Long Drink

from Finland...and your local package store

Cheers- Your Boozy Weathergirl