Knee deep in it

The Boozy Weathergirl
5 days ago
2 min read

A friend asked me how they could opt out of this seven-day free trial of living in Alaska. Wish I knew. Please don't opt out of reading Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl though, OK?

1

Those florets that people make out of meat for charcuteries are lovely, but they are so not functional. Like, you don't want to eat them, because they are too pretty. Or, they're made out of multiple pieces of meat, and you feel bad about eating them, because you really only wanted one piece, but now, you've manhandled all the slices in there. Can't we just go back to a flat pepperoni and cheese plate?

2

Hand lotion should only come in pump bottles. Who can use a lotion bottle with a flip top, or even worse - a screw-on top, without getting those tops all greasy or not being able to close them at all? Why must everything be so complicated?

3

You know what fashionable look I love? A nice jumper. But have you ever tried to pee while wearing one? I mean, who thought of these for women without creating some type of coochie flap? There is no way in HELL I am going to remove an article of clothing in a public bathroom that a) leaves me naked and b) might actually touch that dirty floor. I'll just have to pass on this style, I guess...

4

Anyone else have this problem when they try to scroll down on a post to read more of it - you hit the "Thumbs Down" button, because it's placed right in the area on the side of the screen where your finger would hit that button while scrolling? It's so annoying. Someone could be testifying to the fact that they saved the life of a dying child, and my fat finger hits "Thumbs Down" by accident. That's horrible! Of course I retract it. But then I'm thinking, "Oh my God, did the poster see that before I unclicked it? Did anyone else see it? Am I going to be cancelled and perceived as a heartless bitch?"

5

I am often mistaken for an adult because of my age. And being an adult is so weird. Like, they leave me unsupervised all the time. Just seems unsafe.

6

Speaking of, I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made ashtrays for our parents in art class.

7

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

8

I can’t be the only one who is knee-deep in WTF today!

9

I've decided that from now on, when I don't want to do something, I'm going to shout, "Not it!" and run away.

10

The other day, I told my students that I am older than Google. They thought I was joking.

Does this arctic weather have you feeling blue? Well then, I have a drink for you! Turn the blues into a berry happy cocktail with this delicious recipe. Next week, we move on to Super Bowl!