Thank you for being a friend

The Boozy Weathergirl
May 8
2 min read

I wanted to take a moment to thank you all for being my "friend." It's a questionable life choice, for sure, but I appreciate it just the same. Now go read this friendly helping of Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.

1

I will know who my very best friend in the world is, because of this - he/she is the person who will, after my funeral, take my phone and text everyone, "Thanks for coming!"

2

Before you marry a person, you should make them use a computer with super slow internet service, so you can see who they really are.

3

Remember, you can't RUN through a campground. You can only RAN, because it's past tents.

4

I'm starting to feel really old. Like, remember when a new hip joint meant a place to go out with friends on a weekend? Not the same now.

5

If someone tells me they fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow, I am extremely jealous. It takes me three hours, 16 body positions, 10 pillow flips, two to three trips to the bathroom and a partridge in a pear tree to get there.

6

Along those lines - some people wake up feeling refreshed. I, on the other hand, wake up feeling like I need a nap to recover from waking up.

7

If we are talking about looks, I'm about a 7. However, if you take into account my personality, sense of humor and values into consideration, I am definitely a strong 2.

8

I love board games. I especially love the one where you arrange cheese and meat and crackers and fruit and candy on them and eat it all with wine. I'm really, really good at that one.

9

I am that one friend who should never be put on speaker phone, because Lord knows I can't control what comes out of my mouth. So, at least give me a heads up, right from the start, about who is in the audience if you choose to do so.

10

Two "ships" I stumbled upon that were genius: 1) Snaccident - eating an entire bag of something by mistake. and 2) Cuntstipated - emotional or spiritual blockage caused by having to deal with too many cunts in one day.

Trust me on this one - if you wait long enough to cook dinner, everyone will eat cereal. Please follow me for more recipes. Seriously - here are lots of ways to use cereal that you might never have thought of until now.