Pumpkins to trees
It's that time of year when we switch from Reese's peanut butter pumpkins to Reese's peanut Butter Christmas trees. One thing that will never change? The sarcastic whit that is Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.
1
Why don't they just get it over with and make spaghetti-sauce-colored Tupperware?
2
It annoys the shit out of me when cashiers check to see if my money is real. I mean, would I really be shopping here at the Dollar Tree if I could print my own money?
3
I wish people would stop saying that I'm hard to shop for. You do know where the liquor store is, right?
4
Why is, "You're a peach," a compliment, but, "You're bananas," is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
5
I love that people think they are going to punish me by not talking to me.
6
I was watching a new mom breast feed, and she was wondering if the child had eaten enough. I chimed in and told her that if the kid clinks her tits together and says, "Cheers," they are probably good!
7
I was thinking about what to make for a Thanksgiving celebration. And I thought maybe something sweet potato. But then I thought about myself, and I'm a kind of rude potato, and I didn't think anyone would buy it.
8
So, it turns out that if you treat people the way they treat you, they actually do get upset.
9
My parents did not tell my husband to treat me like a princess. Rather, they advised him to hang in there, because there was a no-return policy.
10
I found out that out of all my body parts, my eye balls are in the best shape. This is because I roll them at least 875 times per day.
You gotta love daylight saving time. I mean, there's nothing like watching the sunset while you're eating lunch. Someone sent me this "fun" quiz, and I thought all of us could enjoy it. Drink whatever you like to help you compete it!
Guess that song!
Comments