My Summer Body

The Boozy Weathergirl
12 minutes ago
2 min read

It's too late to work on my summer body. Instead, I'm making my new goal a Halloween body - less beach-ready and more ready-for-Reese's. Hope you're ready for this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.

1

Being salty is so last year. I'm going to start being marinated. I want people to KNOW that I've been swimming in a mixture of emotions for a long time.

2

You don’t know fear until the toilet refuses to flush in someone else’s house.

3

I think the beach is the only place where you can lounge in underwear, in front of strangers, and drinking and eating snacks all day is actually encouraged.

4

I heard the song “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton. Do you think his love really looked that great? Or do you think he was sick of her trying on different outfits and just decided to tell her she was amazingly beautiful so he could finally get to the party and drink?

5

I've opened a can of worms. They just sit there, those worms. Hardly the chaos that is advertised.

6

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said, “Thank God! What are they?”

7

I miss the old days when bills didn’t have my name on them.

8

I have started yelling, “NOT FRIENDLY,” when I see someone trying to approach me. I learned it from the dog people.

9

Best joke of the week – My grandmother just asked my pregnant niece, “If the stork is the bird that delivers babies, what is the bird that prevents the pregnancy?” “The Swallow.” I can’t stop laughing.

10

I did some financial planning. It looks like I can retire at 97 and live comfortably for eleven minutes. Cheers!

My friends and I became obsessed with these bird glasses locally at a little joint called The Bevy Company. How fun would this be filled with a chocolatey aperitif? Try the recipe and find out...