Macho, macho man

Let's stop talking about Carrie Underwood singing at Trump's Inauguration and focus on the fact that he's dug up The Village People to also perform. Will they be singing "Macho Man" as he walks in? I can't wait to see! In the meantime, here are this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.

1

I love when I'm trying to seem all intelligent in my writing, and I use some complicated word to explain something, but I secretly do an online dictionary check to make sure I'm using the word correctly.

2

I also love it when I'm on my way to work using my normal, very-familiar route, and I politely let a car turn in front of me. Of course, this car has never been on this very long, windy road, and they have no balls, so we drive together at a snail's pace, with me almost in their back bumper, as I try to mentally get them to move over (or drive off a cliff!).

3

While I am driving so slowly, I take in the sites, and I realize after 10+ years of driving on the same road, I discover a house that I legit have never seen in my life.

4

As a tow truck rode my ass for miles this week on the highway, I thought to myself, if he rear-ended me, would this be a good thing or a bad thing?

5

Something else you CAN chew on - I'm reading a book about a psychic who tells every passenger on a flight the cause and age of their death. If this happened to you, would you believe them? And of you did believe them, would you change anything about how you're living?

6

I know that my husband's DNA is actually in our child, because they suffer from the same disorder - convenient food fatigue. This can be defined as being obsessed with a certain food, then having your wife/mother buy copious amounts of said food, right before said relative decides to no longer wish to eat that food any longer.

7

How and why does the word "yawn" make us yawn? And as I walked down the middle school hallway, watching a bunch of kids yawn, I thought to myself, what if farts worked the same way yawns worked? What would this hallway even smell like right now? These things really go through my head, folks.

8

I found another reason to keep a nip or two always in my bag - the unexpected BYOB restaurant! My next venture - opening liquor stores next to all BYOB establishments...

9

I love that the FDA waited until after Christmas to ban Red Dye 3 in foods. I could be a conspiracy theorist, but this had to be a bought/calculated move in some way, no?

10

It's a three-day weekend ahead for many of us. My PDA (public drinking advice) - PACE YOURSELVES!

A full work week is the longest week ever. I'm exhausted. I have nothing fun to say here. We are all gonna need a drink, one way or another, after Monday, right?