It looks the same as when I ate it!

The Boozy Weathergirl
12 minutes ago
2 min read

You know, kids today will never understand getting their shoes dyed at Payless to match their prom dress, and that makes me a little sad. Let's hope my rants bring you the joy you've been dye-ing for in this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.

1

I always double-check to make sure our garage door is closed at night, because God forbid someone come in and steal all the things we've been trying to give away for years!

2

After the week I've had, I'm thinking I might just join the cicadas this summer and scream for six weeks straight.

3

No one ever mentions that the most trying part of marriage is texting your significant other for the code they just got, and receiving an answer after the time limit has expired.

4

I would feel much happier if we started to refer to age in levels, rather than years. Saying I just cleared level 53 makes me much cooler than being an old lady.

5

When applying mosquito repellent, are you putting on OFF or are you putting OFF on?

6

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, and the lines become a little blurry about who is to blame. Like, does it keep alternating or is it still on me?

7

You know a woman is really mad when she starts a sentence saying, "I just find it funny how...," because there is a 99.9% chance that she did not find IT funny at all.

8

Don't wait until you are on your deathbed to tell people how you feel. You might be too incapacitated to raise your middle finger!

9

The average adult makes hundreds of decisions a day. But the most important one comes early in the morning - "Should I get my ass out of bed now to pee, or can I hold it a little longer?"

10

Chew on this - if a piece of corn can survive the acidic hell of your digestive tract and come out the other side completely intact and unscathed, then you can survive a 40-hour work week. #bethecorn

This might sound corny, but there are some tasty drink recipes that revolve around this undigestible substance. They mostly involve bourbon and tequila, but you might find another surprise or two in this list. So, call up your friends in Nebraska and ask them to ship out their finest - you're gonna need it!