Give me five

It's kind of scary when the weatherman is the closest one to telling the truth on the news, isn't it? Basically everythig here in this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl is real, unless it incrimates me.

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1

If you're about to leave a party, and a woman says, "give me five minutes," think five minutes left in the fourth quarter with all time outs still remaining,

2

If you open the microwave door a second or two before the time is up, it just shows you don't need all those bells and whistles in life.

3

When I was at the airport, I bought a bottle of water and a sandwich. Now I'm not sure I'll be able to pay my bills this month.

4

Why can't leg hairs fall off in the fall/winter like leaves?

5

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.

6

Isn't it strange that at some point each family member chooses where they want to sit around the dining table and then it just stays that way forever?

7

I celebrated an anniversary this week - the one-year anniversary of the garbage bag full of donation clothes sitting in the corner of my bedroom that has yet to be donated.

8

I wish someone told me how much of my adult life would be spent figuring out various ways to prepare chicken.

9

Along the same lines, my favorite childhood memory has to be someone else preparing dinner for me every night.

10

You know, it's funny how I claim to hate math, because as soon as one thing on my paycheck or a restaurant check looks suspicious, I am a friggin' Certified Public Accountant!

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The weather these past few weeks has thrown me. I seriously don't even know what day of the week it actually is. I tried to look up easy cocktail recipes, and it led me to some of the most complicated ingredients I have ever seen. Then I thought, "Screw it!" And I'm giving you the simplest of recipes ever - The Screwdriver! Vodka. Orange Juice. Yaaaazzzz! Add both to taste, and you can say "Screw it!," to whatever you'd like!

Screw this!

Cheers- Your Boozy Weathergirl