g’mar chatima tovah

The Boozy Weathergirl
Oct 1
2 min read

For those of you celebrating Yom Kippur today, g’mar chatima tovah. For those of us who are not celebrating, cut your Jewish friends a break. They are sad and they are hungry. May this Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl nourish you.

1

I wasn't planning to drink today, but I didn't like how my bestie's ex treated her, so...

2

How is it possible that I am always the last one to use the last piece of TP on the roll? Like, seriously? Does my family ration it out so that I am the one who has to change the damn thing? There is a stack of replacements right next to each bowl. How much easier can this get, people? And, like, are they even wiping enough? Ew. Just ew. And GRRRRRRRRRR!

3

While we're on potty topics - autoflush. That needs to just check its damn self. Sometimes, I move my butt cheek, and a tornado of water explodes under my cooch. But other times, I stand up, wash my hands and am almost out the door, wondering, "are you gonna flush yet, big bowl? Well, are you?"

4

You know those nights when you go out thinking you look really hot? Then someone takes a pic of you, and you're like, WTF? There's no way that hag is me!

5

There's nothing to piss off a consumer more than a store remodel. Especially when that store is a grocery store. Ask the townspeople here in Southbury who frequent Shop Rite.

6

Sometimes I wake up with skin indentations on my body that stay there for HOURS. Like two or three hours. What the hell did I do in my sleep? Was there a 100-pound rock on me? And if so, why can't it squeeze out a few pounds instead of making me look like a road map gone wild?

7

The best company name of the week goes to Hi! People. This is a cannabis store I drove by on my way home from a condo showing the other night.

8

Pictures of Homecoming are starting to surface, and all I can think is, "who knew 1960s swimsuits would become the formal dresses of the 2020s?"

9

One thing I have learned as I get older - 90% of adulthood is basically trying to figure out what upset your stomach.

10

I haven't really tried yoga. But I have tried bending over to pick shit up, so I'm pretty sure I would hate it.

Apparently, I drank so much last week that I posted the same photo AND recipe for the Hugo Spritz AGAIN! This week will not be the same - promise. Instead, someone asked for a good pumpkin martini recipe. Being a connoisseur of both, how could I resist? Drink up, my little friend...