Does somebody need a hug?

The Boozy Weathergirl
Dec 18
2 min read

Picked my kid up for the holiday break, on the eve of her birthday, in-laws arrive in five days, and my kid invited an exchange student to celebrate the holidays with us, because she has nowhere else to go. Hosting both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and I have two jobs. Don't ask why I drink. Just read this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl and STFU.

1

Wrapping presents is folding laundry’s dickwad cousin.

2

Which reminds me - Boozy Tip #252 – do not drink and wrap presents. So, if anyone gets a TV remote for Christmas, I’m gonna need that back.

3

It’s not really Christmas until you’ve told a roll of Scotch tape to fuck off.

4

Whoever wrote the line “treetops glisten and children listen” was obviously not an educator in the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks.

5

I hate it when people ask me if I’m ready for Christmas. Um, I am not even ready for today, so stop asking!

6

Driving around on a dark snowy night made I realized that people with LED headlights are super lucky to be able to see the hair on a squirrel’s asshole from a mile away, but I can’t even see the road thanks to them.

7

I’m not saying I’m overwhelmed this holiday season, but if one more thing dings, I’m going to chuck my phone into the river and keep driving into the middle of nowhere.

8

However, ladies, during the holiday season, if you ever feel like you’re not cutting it, remember that you would be considered exceptional if you were a man doing it the same way.

9

Based on my last bank statement, please expect “the thought” as my gift, because it counts.

10

On second thought, I’ve seen a lot of your posts, and I am going to send you my favorite book trilogy – The Grammar Bible, Roget’s Thesaurus and Merriam-Webster's Dictionary.

We are a week out from the big day, folks, so, get your shit together! And while you are singing Christmas carols in your head, replace one of them with this in your mouth. (Shout out to the

Coca-Cola inclusion here, which is where Shawn and I used to work and where we met :).