Barstools and bathrooms

The Boozy Weathergirl
Jul 2, 2025
3 min read

After this week, I either need to get taken out on a date or by a sniper. Either is fine with me at this point. Hope this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl leaves you feeling a bit less defeated.

1

Take it from a realtor - the smell of an indefinable fruit coming from an air freshener does not mask the years-long festering scent of weed in your home.

2

I had my annual physical this week. Upon check in, they gave me a wristband, presumably for my safety. I sat in an office and walked about 10 steps forward before they checked it, and they only checked it once. Some thoughts on this - 1) Is my word not enough? If you ask me my name, and I tell it to you, do you doubt me? 2) That's a lot of wasted plastic and ink. 3) Who the hell would want to pretend to be an overweight, menopausal woman?

3

On that subject, you know you're getting older when the must-haves for your girl's trip are an extra sleeve of Lactaid and Tums.

4

It will come as no surprise that I sit on many a bar stool. Lately, I have been noticing how poorly-designed these things are. Especially the high ones. First, the seat hits my thigh in an area that just naturally puts pressure on a weird spot, causing me actual pain that no vodka can erase. I find myself squirming and standing, just trying to be comfortable. Also, where are the footrests? All of this undue pressure could be alleviated if I just had somewhere to put my feet. Isn't the point of a bar to have people sit, stay and order more? We need to do better, people.

5

Along the same lines, I was out with my realtor friends, and one of them made two great observations after visiting the restroom. The first was that all ladies' rooms were clearly designed by men, because there is never a place for women to put their purses. The second was that it seems odd when you visit a large venue, and the stalls for people with disabilities are always the ones farthest away from the entrance. For God's sake, just think, people. Please.

6

My morning routine for NYT games is to do Wordle, Strands, Mini, and Connections. I sprinkle in Spelling Bee and The Crossword throughout the day. I need to know what kind of crack the people who design the categories for Connections are smoking lately. Like, I am not seeing ANYTHING that makes sense for Purple. I'm waiting for, "Starting With First Letters of Kevin Bacon's Dead Grandparents" or "Hallucinogenic Drug Variations Minus the Last Three Letters." Seriously, WTF?

7

My years of marriage have taught me that a good woman stays by her man's side during the bad times to tell him that none of it would have happened if he had just listened to her.

8

I love how a fly will get into your house through a 2mm crack in the bathroom window, but it can't find its way out even if half the side of said house is taken off and open.

9

I want to be the person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

10

The best advice I can give you this summer - You can't have a bad day at work if you don't go!

We are gearing up for The Nation's birthday tomorrow. It's going to be a hot one! So why not be da bomb by bringing these boozy bomb pops to your get-together?