Mental math

It is 10,000 degrees out, we still have another week of school left and I have a horrible head cold. Who did I piss off in another life? Sounds like an Indigo Girls song. Sing whatever song makes you happy and enjoy this week's Deep Thoughts Thursday with The Boozy Weathergirl.

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1

If you don't like to rip your hair out of head when combing through knots, you probably use a wet brush of some sort. My question is this - why do they have retractable bristles? They poke back into the brush, and I have to pull them back out, one-by-one, in order to get the thing to work correctly. Like, is there ever a time when part of your head doesn't need a run through? Just make the damn things stick out and stay there! Am I the only one who experiences this?

2

I tailed a pick-up truck the other day with a window sticker that read - "We got kids up in this bitch!" I'm not kidding. I wanted to follow them, just to see if they went to the places I imagined they would visit after they got off the highway, but I didn't have time.

3

How awesome it is to be the half of a couple who mentions, "I'm out of deodorant," and then the next day, a new deodorant magically appears? (Obviously, I am the deodorant fairy in this scenario.)

4

I have been to the dentist more times than I can count in the past week. Yet, I am still amazed that the receptionist in the office can look at you straight faced and expect a definitive answer on whether or not you are available 6 months and 18 days from now.

5

I hate being accused of lollygagging when I am quite obviously dillydallying.

6

Nobody likes that "one-up" friend. Your day was hard, their day was harder. You went to Tennessee, they went to Elevennessee.

7

I love when warm weather gets here, and we all start getting depressed about how our clothes don't fit. Bitches, why are you surprised? We knew summer was coming, and we just kept eating now, didn't we?

8

Whoever created wet wipe packs where you pull one out and four come out with it should have been put in charge of designing ATMs.

9

Just to make this clear - if we're ever both doing mental math to figure something out, I am simply pretending. That whole thing is on you.

10

School is never going to end this year. "Crying and trying" is my new email signature at work.

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I had some watermelon on a field trip the other day, and I thought a nice watermelon cocktail sounded tasty. Lots of great pictures of these out there, but when you look at the actual recipe, your fingers will cramp from all the scrolling to get to an outline so simple. Here's my tip - blend some watermelon in a blender, add some lime, pour in a glass, stick in a few mint leaves and add whatever liquor you prefer - vodka, gin, rum, tequila all sound like possibilities. Feel free to add a salted rim if preferred. Perfecto!

Recipe above...

Cheers- Your Boozy Weathergirl